Pain
by Thegirlwhowaited97
Summary: Leah Walker is a big dreamer. She's also a Whovian. One night the dreams of meeting the Doctor come true. But will she be able to keep her secrets of her past and present at bay? Or will they come to surface, and unravel all she really is? TRIGGER WARNING.
1. Chapter 1

**Hi! Just wanted to say I don't own Doctor Who, unfortunately. Any references to anyone is purely coincidental, blah blah...;) Enjoy the story, and review for next chapter! :)**

CHAPTER 1.

Hi there. My name is Leah Walker. I'm 17 years old, and a dancer of 11 years. I'm home schooled, and I love music, and Doctor Who. Some might say obsessed, honestly. But…I suppose they're right. I mean, when someone starts dreaming that the Doctor will come save them one day in his TARDIS flying through the sky? Yeah. You can call me obsessed.  
But it's an escape. And a good one at that. I have a great life, don't get me wrong. Wonderful family. Parents have been together for 36 years, and my brother and sister both in their 30's and married with kids.  
I was the surprise child. They always wished for another baby girl though, and that's me! Anyway. Homeschooled, not exactly unsocial though. I have friends. Good ones. I had a best friend. I lost her. Not death, but might as well have been. She changed. So drastically I wonder if the other her ever really existed, but that story is for another time. So good friends, good family. What's so messed up about her life that she wants to fly away with a madman in a box? Well.

That's my secret to know.

But to everyone else, the reason could be the pain that cuts at me every time I think of my past. Guys that have hurt me even though I've never had a boyfriend. Or the girl I was telling you about. Mary Beth was her name. Maybe it's my thirst for travel. Maybe it's the fact I'm practically in love with the Doctor. I just know that I desperately wish, just for a moment, that he could come swooping in and take me somewhere. Drop me off, and I could dream about it forever.

Well, here's my story of how it came true.

I was sitting on my bed Tuesday evening, cross legged wearing a pair of dark ripped jeans, a red v neck and my starfish necklace that I don't take off. This guy, Luke, gave it to me. I'm kinda dating him. I don't like him exactly yet, but my parents love him, so I have to "give him a chance." They can be a bit overbearing sometimes. So I was on my computer, talking to my friend Kierstyn on Facebook.

Me: So Connor came out with a new video. DIDJA SEE IT

Her: No….

Me: *inserts link* WATCH ITTTT

Her: Did you see Amazingphil's new video? He's like a little lion :3

Me: Hahaha he is! And Connor's eyes are just…asdfgrdfhtjybyufmdk

Her: XDD

Then I hear the sound. A very familiar sound.

Me: Kier….

Her: Yeah?

Me: I…just heard…the TARDIS…

Her:….you're losing it.

Me: IM NOT I SWEAR. I don't have it on my phone…the T.V. is on "Untold stories of the ER" and I doubt they have time travel in that.

Her: You're just hearing things. Maybe it's your washer? –shrug-

Me: Since when did my WASHER make the sound of a wheezing TARDIS?  
Her: Leah, the Doctor isn't real. You know that right? XD  
Me: Yeah yeah, I'll brb.  
Her: *sigh* okay.

I run to my window, Amy pond style, and see….

Nothing. Great, so I really AM going mad. I turn around to flop back on my bed and tell her that it really was just me being a fan girl. I tell her goodnight and shut off my computer. I settle under my covers and watch some T.V. for a bit, then start to drift into oblivion.  
I'm almost asleep when I hear the faint sound of the TARDIS again. I'm getting irritated now, and slightly scared for my own mental sanity. Did I download the text sound on my phone by accident? Isaac did show me that he had it on his own…maybe he did it as a joke. I groan and turn over towards my door and my eyes shoot open at what I see.

The TARDIS is in the corner of my bedroom.


	2. Chapter 2

**HEY GUYS! Sooo, no reviews on chapter 1. *sad face* But, since I'm feeling nice, I'll post chapter 2. :) Please like and REVIEW! :D And I don't own Doctor who, or any thing related to it. Enjoy!**

CHAPTER 2.

I blink in shock. The TARDIS is IN. MY. BEDROOM. I'm dreaming, I must've fallen asleep and didn't remember. Hate it when that happens. I pinch myself but to no avail. Suddenly, I hear sounds coming from inside. Voices. Voices I know all too well.

I shut my eyes and pull the covers to my neck, pretending to be asleep. I pinch myself again under the covers to still make sure I'm not dreaming. "Ow" I whisper. Nope. Not dreaming. But…it's just fiction. HE'S NOT REAL. Maybe this is some prank for a night time show. Like Jimmy Fallon. I can see it now. "Shock whovian at 2 AM with fake TARDIS in bedroom" I get snapped out of my thoughts by the creak of the TARDIS doors opening, and low and behold, the 11th doctor, Matt smith (my favorite.) comes out, with Amy and Rory behind him. "This must be before episode 5, but in season 7, because Amy has darker makeup on." I think to myself, before shaking my head slightly and mentally scolding myself for thinking so foolishly. "It's just a prank. This is Matt, Karen, and Arthur doing something for a tv special or something. I shut my eyes quickly again and listen.

Amy, or rather, Karen, speaks up first.

"Uhm…Doctor?"

"Yes Amelia?"

She whispers "Why are we in a bedroom?"

I peek again. Rory is looking around, and he walks uptentatively to my bed. Guessing he's looking at me, I shut my eyes and hear him say

"Uh Doctor? We're in a teen girl's bedroom…."

"Well... that's new." He says slightly confused. I hear the whizzing of his sonic screwdriver around my room before I hear it land beside my bed beside Rory, er, Arthur. I hear the Doctor roam around my dresser now. "Las Vegas, China, Nashville, Mexico." I'm assuming he's naming where my snowglobes are from. My dad travels for work and gets me one from each place he goes. "I'm going to guess America….and by her clothes…" He quietly opens my closet. "Oi, that's rude." I think. I hear some hangers being moved around. "2000's." Then he must see my Catching fire poster inside my closet that says "2013" on the bottom. "2013 according to this poster, or somewhere around there to be exact." Amy's now on the other side of my bed, near my nightstand. Well, I've ruled out the dreaming aspect, but why aren't there any cameras? After this, I'm gonna have to be put in a mental hospital for sure, because who's going to believe "Mom! I swear! The doctor and his companions were in my bedroom last night! No joke!"

Rory speaks up again "Why would the TARDIS take us here?"

"I'm not sure…" the Doctor replies with an uncertainty in his voice that makes me a bit nervous, because that sounds just like something the Doctor would say, NOT Matt Smith.

Then I hear Amy pick up something from my nightstand. Oh no. I left my…

"Doctor….." Amy sounds terrified.

_"_What?" He sounds a bit irritated now.

"She has your sonic screwdriver."

I left my sonic screwdriver on my nightstand. I mean, why else hide it? It's not like I was EXPECTING them or anything.

"_WHAT_?" I peek open my eye the slightest to see his reaction. He looked perplexed.  
"It looks just like it…" She whispers to herself, flipping it over in her hands.  
"Toss it to me!" He whispers, not very well may I add.

"Shhh! Don't wake her!" Amy whispers harshly.

"Give it!"

Amy tosses the screwdriver to the Doctor.

"It's…. plastic." He presses the buttons that make the noise and the light, and the eject button. "it's…just a toy. But who would make a toy sonic screwdriver?" He fiddles with a bit more, sonicing my sonic with his. "The sonic, MY sonic, says it's not dangerous in any way. Just plastic and batteries so it can make the whirring sound, light up and eject. But how can someone have a replica of MY SONIC SCREWDRIVER?"

I decide I can't take it any longer.

**DUN DUN DUNN...Cliff hanger. ;)**


	3. Chapter 3

**HEY GUYS! Omw, thank you for reviewing! Keep it up for new chapters;) Here's chapter 3! Disclaimer: I don't own Doctor Who, or anything related to it, sadly. DANG IT MOFFAT.  
**

CHAPTER 3.

I pop up from my cocoon of covers.

"Hi Doctor, Amy, Rory! One, it's 2014, not 2013. And technically, BBC made the sonic screwdriver. Or at least the idea to make a toy sonic scr-"

I get cut off by the Doctor's green eyes searching my face. "Who are you, and how do you know my name? And theirs?" He asks with a warning tone in his voice.

I stumble back in fear at this. Probably should've planned this better.

"Well…you see." The Doctor leans in closer, but with a softer look, he must've seen that I was scared, but I still lean back. Thankfully it's slightly dark in my room, so he can't see me furiously blushing at how close he is to my face. "Well…." I use my best David Tennant voice. "I think you might either be, A., faking all of this for a night time show as a prank, which I hope is the truth, because if it's not, I've gone mad. Or B., you've fallen into a parallel world, where in my world….your life is a T.V. show called "Doctor Who" and they make stuff like that." I point to my sonic screwdriver. "Dolls, sonics, t shirts…and I know y'all's names because of the show. You." I point to the Doctor "are played by Matt Smith" I point to Amy "You're played by Karen Gillian" I hear her mumble something about not liking the name Karen. And I point to Rory "And you're played by Arthur Darvill. And" I turn back to the Doctor "…I may or may not have seen you're 9th, 10th, and this incarnation up to the beginning of your 12th incarnation…" I slowly sink into my covers after revealing this.

The doctor stumbles back at this, but seems to consider the idea as truth. Confused, a bit angry, and shocked, but I don't think he thinks I'm lying.

"How old are you?"

"17"

"What's your name?"

"Leah Walker."

He smiles a bit. "Leah...I like that."

I blush a deeper crimson. Ugh. I hate blushing. I know he isn't flirting, it's just his nature, but it doesn't help any. I don't like my name that much, I've always thought it's a bit boring, and it must show on my face, because he looks into my eyes again, and with a sincere look, says "Really, it's very pretty, and it suits you, from what I can tell." I smile a thanks.

He claps his hands, and Rory winces. I'm guessing he figured out it's nighttime, and since I'm 17, I don't live alone, and someone could be woken up by that. Smart boy. "So I'm guessing from your southern accent, we're in the southern part of America, yes?"

"Welcome to South Carolina." I smile again.

The Doctor smiles again. "Oh I love South Carolina! Small state, but everyone is so hospitable, and the food is fantastic!"  
I grin and mumble under my breath "Your nine is showing"  
He looks at me "What did you say?"  
Wow. Good hearing. "Nothing" I lie.  
He eyes me warily. "Okay then. Well. We're in a teenage girl's bedroom from 2014, in America in a supposed parallel world. But why?" He turns to me and walks up to me again. "Have you seen anything strange lately? Any weird lights from the sky, statues..?"  
It's getting hot in my room, so I kick some of the covers off of me, and with a smirk, say "No, and I haven't seen any soldiers that look like potatoes, space rhinos, or" I decide to show off a bit "Slitheen from raxacoricofallapatorius." His mouth stands agape at either my knowledge of aliens, or the fact I can pronounce raxacoricofallapatorious. I smile and cross my legs. "I think you're here to save me."  
The Doctor frowns "From what?"  
I whisper to where he can't hear me "Myself." But I speak up and say "From this life! It's so dull. I mean yeah I have a great family and good friends, but it's all so…mundane!"  
The Doctor smiles "You sound just like Amy."  
Amy smiles and nods. "I'm the same way, domestic life isn't for me. I don't think it'll ever be." I can see Rory frown a bit at this.  
I wince at this inwardly, knowing all too soon that's what she'll have to have. I shake it off before they notice and put my smile back on.  
"So…the TARDIS sent you here, yeah?" I ask. Rory and Amy both look at The Doctor for an answer.  
"Yes, it seems so. I told her to surprise us. She really did this time." The Doctor scratches his head. Then he turns to look at Amy and Rory.  
"Can I speak to you two for a moment?" They look confused, but comply. They step inside the TARDIS for a moment, and I sit there twiddling my thumbs…thinking.

What would my mom do if I left? And my dad? My mom would probably be like Jackie Tyler, wanting me home, but if I'm happy, she'd let me go. Not happy herself, but she'd let me.  
My dad…he's a bit more protective. But if I left a note, I could be home by morning….Oh Leah! Stop thinking that he'll ask you to be his companion. You'll probably be stuck here, and if not he'll just take you on one trip and that's it an-  
"Leah"  
I don't know how long he had been standing there, the Doctor. But I jumped in my skin.  
"Woah, you okay?" His brows furrowed. I smiled.  
"Yeah! Just gave me a fright, that's all."  
"I want to know, if you would like to travel with us?" He smiles and claps his hands together.  
Yes…I would love to! May I write my parents a letter first?" It was his turn to smile.  
"Of course. But…Leah." His facial features darken. "You do realize if you've seen MY future, since you'll be traveling with us, then you have to be EXTREMELY careful with what you say. We can't have a paradox forming, or the future changing because I know my own timeline, okay?"  
I solemnly nod. "I promise, I'll be very careful."  
His features lit up again. "Good! We'll be in the TARDIS waiting." He went back inside.  
I quickly scribbled a note to my parents, packed the nessecary things, I mean I know the TARDIS provides clothes, but some things you need to take with you. I finished packing my things and looked at my room one last time.  
"Finally. My dream is coming true."


	4. Chapter 4

**Hey guys! Thank you SOO much for the sweet reviews! ^_^ The story is finished in my word document, so the more reviews and likes or whatever, the more I'll update (But I'm pretty impatient, so I'll probably end up doing it soon enough;)) Now this chapter lets you in on why the story is called "Pain". Enjoy, and review! Love y'all :3**

CHAPTER 4.

I step inside the TARDIS with my bag, and immediately drop it. I know it's bigger on the inside, it's just…so much more magnificent in person. The Doctor waltzes up to me and leans on the railing.  
"So? What do you think?" Amy and Rory were behind him leaning against the console, smiling.  
"It's…so beautiful. So…alien!" I laugh, and they laughed with me. The Doctor runs up to the console and presses a few buttons, then turns to me and asks with that silly grin of his "Where to?"  
"Hmmm…" I tap my chin thoughtfully. "Ireland, 1950!"  
He laughed again. "Okay then! Ireland, 1950 it is!" I grabbed onto the railing, I know how this goes. We all jolted around, then finally came to a stop.  
"Oh Doctor! Don't I need to change first?"  
I point to my pink and orange plaid PJ bottoms and my white t shirt.  
"I mean I know Amy's first trip was in her nightie…but I'd rather mine be in proper clothing" Amy looked surprised for a moment, before remembering I'd watched their lives pretty much. He pointed me to what I assume was the wardrobe. I went over and changed into what would fit into the era, and came out in a red diner type dress, with white polka dots on it, a white long sleeved pullover, and a pair of matching red heels. The Doctor smiled.

"You look beautiful" I looked down so my curly auburn hair would fall in front of my face, concealing my blush one again. "Thanks" I mumbled. I didn't believe it.  
Amy stepped out in a dress similar to mine, but in a beautiful green color that matched her eyes. Rory looked at her in admiration and pure love. I turned away from them as familiar pain pierced my heart. The Doctor was already at the door, ready to go. We walked out, and I cursed myself for wearing long sleeves. It felt like spring out.  
But what I saw was beautiful.

Fields of breathtaking flowers, as far as the eye could see. Mountaintops in the distance, shining, reflecting off of the afternoon sun. It smelled of freshly cut lemongrass and tulips. I breathed in deeply, and shut my eyes for a moment. It was just what I imagined. I had always wanted to go to Ireland. It looked so serene…so peaceful, and the scenery was how I'd heard. Just amazing.

Amy and Rory walked hand in hand in the meadow of flowers, and I opened my eyes to see the Doctor still beside me at the TARDIS.  
"Shall we?" He offered his elbow, a basket in the other hand.  
I laughed  
"We shall"  
I took his elbow and we went to catch up with the ponds. Apparently the Doctor brought a picnic for the occasion, so we found a spot, and set everything out. While eating, the Doctor looked at me and frowned.  
"Leah, it's about 78 degrees out, aren't you a bit warm?" He gestured towards my pull over.  
"Nah, I'm fine." Honestly I was burning up. But they can't know.  
We finished up our picnic, and headed back to the TARDIS.  
"Sorry if my first trip was uneventful for y'all." Amy giggled at that.  
"What?"  
"Oh nothing, your accent is just adorable, that's all!"  
I laughed. I hated my accent, I always wanted to be British or Scottish. "Funny you say that, I hate my accent, I've always wanted to be British or Scottish!"  
Rory spoke up "Well I quite enjoyed it, it's nice having a trip where you don't have to fend off anything that wants to kill you."  
We all laughed at that, and once inside the TARDIS, I grabbed my bag and asked the Doctor where I could put it. He took me down the long corridors, seemingly never ending, until he stopped at one room. I opened the door, and gasped.

It looked perfect.

The walls were an aqua color, my favorite color. There were pictures of all different things in my room, but all things I loved. One was a picture of a bonfire, one of a girl dancing in the rain. Another was a girl in a ballet pose, and there were quotes on my walls. All my favorites quotes. I walked over to a bookshelf where my favorite books were there, right in order, as I'm OCD, that made me estatic. My bedspread was black, with constellations and stars and pinks and purples swirled into it, to make it look like space. A closet was on my right, with all my clothes, were hanging inside. Beside that was a small bathroom. I turned towards the Doctor and almost knocked him over with my hug. I spoke into his ear  
"How did you know all my favorite things, right down to my quotes?" He released the hug, and walked around the room.  
"The TARDIS is mentally linked to you, so she knows what you like, even down to your quotes." I smiled and thanked him. He pointed to my bag in confusion. I seem to do that to him a lot, make him confused.  
"Why did you pack a bag though? If you've seen all of this before on the telly, you know the TARDIS can provide what you need"  
I stuttered for my answer. "I just, well…you know girls. Certain things need to be brought with us. Memorabilia. Stuff like that." He nodded, but I don't think I convinced him that time.  
"Well, I'll let you get settled in. Goodnight Leah!"  
"Night Doctor!"  
After he shut my door, and I made sure he was gone, I unpacked my bag quickly of it's contents. My drawn picture from my little niece, my makeup, my dance trophy, a picture frame with my best friends in it, and, hidden in the very bottom, my black box that contained bandaids, antiseptic wipes, and my blades.

**TRIGGER WARNING:SELF HARM FROM HERE**.

I changed out of my dress, and put on a pair of sofee shorts and a flannel night shirt. I set all my things in the right spot, then went to my bathroom with the blades.  
I took one out shakily, and drew in a breath as it sliced across my wrist. The blood trickled down my hand into the sink, and I watched as I made a second cut above it.  
"For the two parents I left behind. I'm so sorry. I hope I didn't disappoint, scare, or anger you. I love you."  
The blood flow finally slowed down, and I cleaned the blood from the sink. I grabbed some bandages from my little "kit" and fixed myself up.  
I washed my face of its makeup, and looked in my reflection. My almond shaped, grey-blue-green eyes looking back at me.  
I'm so weak. Pathetic.  
My pale skin softly kissed with light freckles across my nose, barely noticeable, and my long, curly brown-red hair.  
I took a better look at the rest of me. I'm 5 foot 3, so I have short legs. I developed muscular thighs and calves from dance, but that made my thighs not so thin and long like Amy's.  
My stomach was alright, but not as flat and taut as hers. I had a decent chest, but that's about it. My heart shaped face made my chin look pointy when I smile, and my forehead wide. I hate myself.

I trudged back to bed, snuggled under the starry duvet, and turned out the light. I lightly grazed my hands over my fresh bandages.

They must never know. Especially The Doctor. Never let him see the damage.


	5. Chapter 5

**Hai guys! I'm updating again, cuz I'm feeling nice (again) ;) Please review! :) It really means a lot to receive feedback, it makes my day! ^_^ Thanks! XOXO  
OH and I don't own Doctor Who.  
*sniff***

CHAPTER 5.

I wake up the next morning to the sound of the Doctor banging on my door. I don't have a concept of what time it is (Oh the irony…considering the circumstances.) but my body definitely says sleep.  
"Leah! Time to get up!"  
I groan and roll over. I hear his sonic at my door, then a "click" and the Doctor is walking over to my bed. Does he not know what "privacy" is?  
"Oi! Doctor!" I finally sit up, rubbing the sleep from my eyes. "I could've been changing or something!" He laughed. "I heard you groan from your bed from outside the door. You weren't getting up anytime soon" I try and glare at him, but end up laughing instead. He laughs as well and gets up to leave.  
"Alright alright, I'll be out in a tic."  
He stops, and turns to look at me with a strange look.  
"Why do you use British terms if you're from America? You said "oi", and now "in a tic"?"  
I shrug and give a sheepish smile.  
"Watching a lot of Doctor Who and Sherlock can do that…it is a British television show ya know." I frown at my own statement, realizing what I said. "Well I mean obviously it's not just a TV show, it-" He stops me, and grins.  
"I get it. Just get ready, okay? Today's gonna be great!" He beams, and practically bounces out of my room like Tigger. I laugh to myself and head over to my closet.  
I glance over my old items, and gasp when I see one of my pins from pinterest, IN MY CLOSET. No. way. I look up at the TARDIS ceiling and put my hand on the wall. "Thank you sooo much!" I whisper. A delightful hum is my response.  
I pick out a few new items, which consists of a grey shirt with a red collar and gold stars on it, a pair of light washed shorts, a red beanie, and white high top converse. I head to the shower, and then after getting dressed, go out to the console room. Amy and Rory are already there with The Doctor, so I assume we're ready to go.  
"So, where're we going?"  
The Doctor flicks a few switches again, and says "Manhattan!"  
I freeze in my tracks.  
My eyes flicker over to Amy, who's wearing that white and blue striped shirt and jacket, and her glasses. No. No no no no… I slowly back up, shaking my head and manage to find my voice. "We can't." I say shakily.  
They all look confused. The Doctor looks at me strangely. "Well, Amy and Rory wanted to go, so why not? And it's not too unfamiliar with you yet, still on Earth!" He's beaming now.  
I can't do this. My eyes start brimming with tears and I manage to say "Excuse me" and run down the hallway.  
Well that was a stupid move, Leah! Way to go! Now not only will you get lost, but they think you're nutters! I hear Rory's voice in the distance.

"Leah, wait!" The tears are pouring so fast, I can't see where I'm even going anymore, so in defeat, I force myself to slide down the corridor wall, head in hands, my body racking in sobs.

I hear Rory catch up to me and sit down next to me, putting his arm around me, and I just bury my head in his shoulder and cry. I manage to pull myself together finally and look up.  
Rory Williams. The last centurion. And he'll be gone today.  
"I'm sorry that I ran off...I'm being stupid, I'm really sorry."  
He stops me. "No, its fine. Really. Traveling with The Doctor can be…overwhelming at times. I understand."  
I nod and pretend to understand. No, he really doesn't understand right now. Who can I talk to this about? I can't tell any of them obviously, but can I change history? "So…why not Manhattan? It is in America." He smiles. I look at him, and realize I can't even speak with this lump in my throat. I clear my throat and ask "Where's the library?" He looks confused.  
"There's a library?" I laugh a genuine laugh.  
"Yes, there is. I guess the Doctor knows where it is." We both walk back to the console room where a very concerned Doctor and Amy are standing.  
"I'm sorry about that, it's just….well…Doctor, can you show me where the library is?"

The Doctor and Amy give me a "Well that was random" look before he agrees.  
"I'll be back in a bit, then we can figure out where we're going!"  
After a few twists and turns, we make it to the library. I stand agape at how huge it is.  
"Wow" I manage to whisper to myself. I run my fingers along the walls of books, seemingly neverending. The ceiling is huge, and it smells like new wood.  
The Doctor turns to me. "So…why did you want to come in here?"  
"I needed to find a very important book. Is it alphabetized?" He looks around as if he hasn't been in here himself for ages. "I believe so, or I'd never find a book in here!" He grins that silly grin, and it's contagious, so I smile too. "I'll be back in a few minutes, just let me find the book real quick." He nods and walks off. I go to the "M" section and search for "The Angels kiss" by Melody Malone.

Eventually, after what seems to be half an hour, I find the book. Walking out, I see the big book Clara saw, that has the Doctor's name in it. I resist the urge and go to the console room, ready to ask the Doctor for a favor. Again.  
"Hello! Find the book?" I smile and nod. "Good! We'll be off then!" I grab his arm before he can pull the lever. "Actually Doctor, can uh….erm…." he stops, and turns to me, looking concerned. "Is everything okay, Leah?"  
I cut myself off. I can't lie. I hate lying. "Doctor, I need to speak to you for a minute."

He furrows his brows, but complies. He gives the Ponds the "just a minute" look and comes with me down the hallway. I give him a dead serious look and say "Doctor, I need to talk to River."  
He really looks concerned now. "River? Why do you need to talk to her?"  
I sigh and look down. "She's the only one I can talk to about this right now. Just…. " I lower my voice to a whisper. "take Amy and Rory to somewhere nice while I'm talking to her, please?"

He rubs his chin, turns around, and back to me again.  
"Alright, let me go get her somehow." I hug his torso.  
"Thank you." I hear his double heartbeats and it's a comforting sound. An odd one, but it makes me feel at home, for some reason. I let him go contact River, and I sit down in the hallway again, trying to figure out what to do.


	6. Chapter 6

**Hi guys! Sorry, this is a short chapter, but the next one is pretty fantastic if I say so myself;) I don't own Doctor who, (still working with Moffat on that one.) Enjoy! XOXO**

CHAPTER 7.

I hear his footsteps coming back and he says "We're on our way to go get her, c'mon." He pulls me to my feet, and my heart beat quickens when I look in his old, yet young eyes. NO. Leah, snap out of it. That's disgusting. He's over 1000 years old, and you're 17! No. You can't do that to yourself.

I follow him to the doors of the TARDIS, where we landed near River's prison cell. I see her anxiously looking for the Doctor when I come out, but dismayed when he doesn't come with me, and he leaves when I get to her cell.  
She looks at me dangerously, but with curiousity sparkling in her eyes.  
"Who might you be?" She asks in her usual "I sound flirtatious, but I'm really just curious" voice.  
"My name is Leah Walker, and well, the short version of my story is that I'm from a parallel world where The Doctor's life is a TV show, and I know what's gonna happen in his life. I've seen his 9th, 10th, 11th, and a bit of his 12th self, and all of his companions, including you." She looks startled for a moment before I continue. "I know what's about to happen today if he goes to Manhattan, but I can't tell him because…"  
I get frustrated at this point.  
"Because…WIBBLY WOBBLY TIMEY WIMEY reasons. Paradoxes and timelines screwy an-"She cuts me off with a laugh.

A laugh!? She laughed at me. Great, now I'm a joke.

"What's so funny?" I ask angrily.  
She wipes the tears from her eyes. "You just amuse me, that's all. "Wibbly wobbly timey wimey, huh?" She laughs again. She must see my frustration is legit because she calms down and looks at me seriously now. |"What happens in Manhattan?"  
I look at her. "You should know, you wrote the book." I hand her the book "An Angel's Kiss" by Melody Malone. She reaches through the bars and looks at it, confusion all over her face.  
Then I remember, she hasn't written it yet! I grab it from her hands.  
"WAIT never mind, you haven't written that yet." I hit my head with the book for being stupid again.  
"So I must ask...why did you come to me?" She gets that curious look again. It's a bit unsettling.

"Because you're the only one who has the time streams with the Doctor messed up, so I had to come to you! Something bad is going to happen in Manhattan, which is the next place he plans on going, but the things that will happen there...there will be something that will break him. That's all I can say, but am I allowed to change it, or is this a fixed point in time?" She looks extremely frustrated now. I think I prefer the curious look.

"Well sweetie, I can't tell you unless you tell me what happens." I sigh. This is SO not how I imagined traveling with the Doctor would be.

"If they go to Manhattan, Amy and Rory will..." I hesitate. "Die. Weeping angels have taken over the city, and they get zapped."

She's stunned for a moment, then a solemn looks overtakes her face, as a lone tear rolls down here cheek. "It has to happen." She glances at the book that I'm gripping. "Deaths are fixed points, no matter who they are." She grabs my free hand, and holds tight. "Let me come with you, we'll get through it together, okay?" I give her a sad smile, knowing she was gonna come anyway.

**3 MONTHS LATER.**

It happened. I don't want to go over what the details were. But we went to Manhattan. Everything happened as it was supposed to, just like it did on TV. Except the pain was much, much more real. I KNEW Amy and Rory! I knew them. They knew me. And that hurt. When Rory was about to get zapped, I had to bite my cheek to keep myself from stopping everything, and causing something bad to happen. The Doctor is broken. He's not alone though. It's been 3 months since it happened. We're about to go to Victorian London. Clara should be there, and I should be dropped off at home. I don't deserve this. Him. This lifestyle. I'm sitting in my room when he knocks. He started knocking after they died.  
"Come in" I call.  
He opens the door, peeks his head in, and for the first time in a while, he makes a joke. "Not getting dressed?"  
I laugh at the memory which seems to happened only yesterday, yet at the same time feels like an eternity ago. Time travel is funny like that. "Nope, fully clothed." I sit up in my bed. "What's up?"  
He sits on the edge of my bed, and looks me in the eyes. I hate it when he does that. Since the moment I met him, he had the ability to melt me to the core with those big, sad eyes of his, as Clara puts it. And boy is she right.  
"Leah, I just wanted to say how appreciative I am of you. We've been traveling for a while and I don't think you hear it enough, but 900 years of time and space, and I've never met somebody unimportant. And I think you think that of yourself."  
Am I really that open?  
But also these past months, I've gotten better at lying.  
"No, I think I'm fine." I smile. The typical smile. Paste it on, move along. That's the way I work now. But hasn't it always been?  
He looks at me for a moment, before standing up.  
"Well, how about that Victorian London, eh?" He pats me on the leg, and walks out of the room, and I get dressed, but not before I go and get rid of my pain I hide. I walk to the bathroom, black box in hand. The memory of it. Carrying it onto the TARDIS when Amy and Rory were here. No one ever noticed. His words are lies. He doesn't mean it. I'm nothing. I am and always will be. My parents probably don't even care that I'm "missing". I grab the blade and slice it across my forearm. I didn't have much room left on my wrists. One cut down. I move the blade up a bit, and I go in beat with my words. "I." the blade touches my arm. "Am. "I dig it in my skin" Worthles-

"Leah." I hear a voice say in horror.

**DUN DUN DUNNNN. I know, cliffhanger. I'm an awful person. But review for the next chapter to see what happens!**


	7. Chapter 7

**HEY GUYS! I'm sooo sorry I didn't update until now! This has a bunch of feels in it, and squishy fluff. ENJOY! haha xD and review! XOXO**

CHAPTER 7

My blade drops from my hand before I could cut. I see the Doctor standing in the doorway of my bathroom, holding my "bad wolf" beanie I must've left in the console room earlier. Not sure how he felt about that hat. The Doctor drops the beanie and rushes to my side.  
"Leah, what have you done?" He says, but his voice cracks a bit.  
I glance up and surprised to see tears swimming in his eyes. He puts his hand to his mouth, while holding my arm with the other. I hang my head in shame as he rushes to the medbay with me, motions for me to sit down on the plushy table-bed thing, and grabs some foreign looking jar. He opens it in a rush, taking this yellow goo from it and placing it on my fresh cut I made before the second one. He carefully places a bandage on it, then looks up at me. He takes his fingers under my chin and lifts my head up to meet his. I'm crying now. The mixture of shame, embarrassment, and guilt flow through my veins.  
He pulls me into his chest, and I cry for a while. I don't know how long, but once again, his double heartbeats calm me, and make me feel at rest. I relax my tense muscles and just rest against him.  
"Why?" He looks down at me. His expression kills me inside. He looks so hurt.  
"I deserve it." I say barely above a whisper.  
"No. stop it there." He pulls me back, and sets his hands on my shoulders. I furrow my brow at the statement.  
"What?"  
"You, Leah Walker, are NOT worthless. You're a funny, sweet, intelligent, witty, beautiful young woman! You have SO MUCH going for you, please. Believe me, because I know those others times you didn't". He helps me stand to my feet, and he starts to clean up the medbay.  
It's my turn to be surprised now. He never believed me? All those times? All those lies?  
"How long has this been going on?" He asks.  
"3 years." I mumble.  
"Wait." He stops and turns to face me, a solemn look on his face, with a trace of "no...you didn't." "That bag you brought on the TARDIS when you first started traveling with me a few months ago. What did it have in it?" He steps closer, and I close my eyes and exhale, telling him the complete truth this time around.  
"A drawing my niece made me, a picture frame of me and my best friends, a dance trophy, and this." I pull the black box out of my pocket. He opens it to find 3 blades, unopened. Several bandaids, and antiseptic wipes.  
"Oh Leah." He whispers. Setting down the box, he takes my hands, and lifts my sleeves. He sees the scars that go up my arms.  
"Why?"  
"Well." I start. "I wasn't always home schooled. I was a big fan of the show, and it was considered nerdy. Sci-fi and that stuff. No one else at the school liked it, it's not as big in America as it is in the UK. So, I got bullied. Got called a bunch of things. And it wasn't any better at home. My parents thought I was weird, and now? They probably think I went insane. Leaving a note saying I went on adventures with my favorite tv character in his TARDIS?"  
I sighed.  
"My dad didn't like me watching it. But it was my only escape from the teens that would just crush my self esteem. I wasn't exactly this weight either." I look down at my flatter stomach. "When I was 14, I was diagnosed with thyroid disease. I gained weight, and boys thought I was disgusting. I wasn't obese, I was just...overweight. My former best friend was the pretty one, with the big brown eyes, and a NORMAL weight. She got all the guys. But when they found out they were friends with "Fatty-nerd Leah" they dropped her like she had the plague. So she dropped me. So not only did I lose my best friend of 6 years, I had my dad thinking I was a freak, along with all the kids, and I was ugly and had awful self esteem, and I didn't know how to stop when I came with you...it was like a security blanket...like...a drug. Tears were brimming now, and I looked down, and managed to utter an "I'm so sorry"  
"This is why you wore that pull over in Ireland when it was so warm. And you rarely wear short sleeves. Oh how could I have missed this? Am I really getting that old?!" His voice starts to rise and he releases my arms to bring his hands to his hair, gripping it in anger as he paces the medbay.  
"You were here, this whole time, HURT, and I didn't help you!"  
He takes a jar and throws it at a wall. I wince at the sound, and he immediately stops. He comes back to me and takes my hands again, and carefully brings my arms to his lips, and kisses each one of my scars. I cry even harder when I realize…he loves me. Maybe not like I want him to, but he does. And I've rejected that. I've overlooked it and replaced it with pity for myself.  
He pulls me into a hug and talks into my hair, his chin resting on the top of my head.  
"I will not ever let you hurt yourself again, Leah Walker. Okay?" I look up at him and smile. For the first time in 3 months, a genuine smile. I hug his neck and whisper "Okay."

The Doctor took me back to my room that night, where I laid in my bed, staring at my ceiling where he had put up these "glow in the dark stars". The irony of doing that, considering I could just open the door of the TARDIS and see it for real. But it's the thought that counts. I couldn't sleep that night though. I don't know why...maybe all of the nights events got me wound up. So I went to the Doctor's room. Knocking, I just felt nervous. He opened the door, and he was wearing matching white PJ pants and a shirt, with fezzes on them.

Oh that man.

His sleepy face suddenly turned concerned, like a lightswitch, when he saw me. "Leah? Are you okay?" He stepped out of his room to search my face, to try and see what was wrong. I giggled a bit under my breath. "I'm fine, Doctor. I just couldn't sleep." His face is flooded with relief. "Oh. Well I have some great herbal tea that I got from this planet Jaxoralian, beautiful purple planet with golden leaves! I'll go fetch that for-"  
"Doctor. I don't need any tea."  
"Oh". He seemed a bit lost as to what to do. I bit my lip, nervous to say what was on my mind  
"Whats the matter, Leah? I can tell. I can always tell when something's the matter with you."  
I walk into his room and plop on his bed. He turns, a bit confused, and walks behind me. I start to ramble.  
"I haven't been on a proper alien trip. Can we do that tomorrow? Just an alien trip? Maybe not dangerous, ya know, no killing or anything. And you have a place to be pretty soon. I mean I know we said Victorian London, but I want you to go there...alone."  
He looked at me with that wary look in his eyes, like that "You know something I don't because you know my future." look. He sighed and nodded. "How about Jaxoralian? It's beautiful, and they do have great tea." I laughed and nodded. "Sure. Thanks Doctor. Goodnight." I walked towards the door. "Goodnight Leah." He smiled and shut the door. I walked back to my room, and as soon as my head hit the pillow, I was out, dreaming about what Gallifrey was like, with it's red skies, and what his family was like, and what made the madman in a box so mad. And why I loved it so much.


	8. Chapter 8

**HEY GUYS! Thanks for reviewing:3 The story is coming to a close soon, only about two chapters left, maybe. Keep reviewing, and thank you SO much for the great support! Enjoy! XOXO**

CHAPTER 8

"LEAHHHHH! WAKEY WAKEY!"

I groaned and shifted in bed. Will he EVER learn how to wake someone up properly? I sat up. "Come in…I'm awake."  
He flung open the door, and walked in, literally dragging me out of bed.  
"I thought you said you were awake."  
I look up at him with half awake eyes.  
"Didn't say my body was." He shook his head in amusement and plopped me on the floor.  
"Get ready, we're gonna go to Jaxoralian!"  
I shook my head at the madman, and shut my door to get ready. I picked out my outfit, which was a white and navy striped shirt, coral shorts, and my favorite white converse. I ran in them so much, they're practically molded to my feet. I put in two pairs of earrings (a pair for each piercing) which one was a TARDIS blue gem studs, and the other pair was just silver studs. I walked to the console and saw the Doctor with his hand on the lever.  
"Ready?"He asked with a huge smile.

"Oh yes." I grabbed the railing as we flew through time and space. I laughed at the insanity of the situation, still considerably new feeling. It doesn't ever completely wear off, I don't think. When I heard the wheezing of our landing, I knew we were there. My first alien planet. The Doctor looked at me, and with certainty in my eyes, I said "C'mon! Let's GO!" He laughed and we ran out the door. I stopped and my breath hitched in my throat. It really was like he said. The grass and trees were gold, and the air smelled of lavender and pine. The building ahead was a beautiful purple, and it seemed to reflect off the purple sky. There were a few species walking around. I saw an Ood and Silurian just walking to the tea shop the Doctor promised to take me to. It was like earth, but totally different at the same time. I loved it. The Doctor ordered our tea and food, and I asked him what language they spoke, since I knew the TARDIS translated for us.  
"They speak Jaxamillian. Beautiful language, it's almost sing-song like. Would you like to hear?"  
He raised a single eyebrow at me. Well, as much of an eyebrow that he had. Bless him and his "delicate" eyebrows. I nodded and he subtly pulled out his sonic and suddenly, all the English conversations were in this beautiful melody together, as if they all knew what they were saying, to make it one gorgeous song. He turned it off, and I was still transfixed on this perfect planet. Our food came, and I can only describe what was on my plate as certainly alien. It was lime in color, and had the consistency of a banana, but tasted like a hamburger. It was odd, but good. We drank our tea, which was magnificent, and left the little shop. (he loves the little shops.) We just lazed around for a bit, everyone seemed at peace here.  
"Want to go sit on the rocks?" He pointed towards these big rocks near what looked like an ocean, but I knew it wasn't. We walked over there and sat in silence for a while, just listening to the sound of the faux ocean. "So if that isn't the ocean, what is it?" I asked with curiousity. He looked into the distance. "What makes you say it isn't an ocean?" That took me a back. "Well...we aren't on Earth." He shook his head, a faint smile on his lips. "Humans…always thinking they're the only ones with an ocean. Or a north." I laughed, and this time said it aloud. "Your nine is showing." He laughed hard at that, I guess no one had really make jokes about his past self before. He wiped the tears from his eyes and got back to looking at the alien ocean. It was the same color, same pattern. It makes you think, how oblivious we all really are to things around us. That more than what we know exists out there. Its humbling. I sighed aloud and sat up from my leaned back position. "You ready to go?" "Sure, if you are." He hopped off the rocks, and I hopped off mine, just to fall onto my ankle. I mentally slapped myself for being so stupid.  
"Leah! Are you okay?" I sat on the ground, a few species looking at me funny, and murmured through gritted teeth "I'm fine, let's just get back to the TARDIS." He put his arm around me to support my weight, and I started to get on my feet when I heard the dreaded words "Delete" A cyberman was right infront of us, charging for me.  
The Doctor spun around, dropping me, but shielding me at the same time.  
"What do you want from us? From her?"  
The Cyberman responded "She is to be upgraded."  
The Doctor looked downright angry now. "You are NOT upgrading her, now get away right now!" Suddenly, two more cybermen came from behind the rocks, and took me. I screamed "DOCTOR HELP." He turned and saw me being dragged away. He ran after me, but the last thing I saw were 4 sontarans being "deleted" right before my eyes, before I blacked out.

When I woke, I was in a strange room. I was locked in some harness, and a Cyberman was guarding the room. I had tape over my mouth. Real classy. So I couldn't scream, nevermind try and negotiate with the cybermen. I banged my head against the metal contraption they had me entrapped in. I KNOW the Doctor will come for me. He always does, right? Or is that just the script? I don't know.  
I got snapped out of my thought when a Cyberman stomped towards me and said " She is ready to be upgraded"  
I screamed through my duct tape, and my wrists were now hurting from the friction due to my resistence. A metal helmet was placed on my head. I'm gonna die. I'm gonna be turned into a Cyberman. Or woman. A lone tear escaped my eye, and I just remembered the two words the Doctor couldn't ignore "Help me" I thought.  
"Please Doctor, help me." I shut my eyes tight, and kept repeating the words.

Suddenly a ray of shock went through my body. I screamed and screamed, the pain was agonizing. Then through the blood rushing through my ears, I heard the faint sound of a sonic screwdriver, and even more pain is now rushing through my body. I vaguely hear someone screaming, the I realize it's me. My screams slowly turned into croaks and squeaks, and I look down at my body and it's glowing a bright yellow, much like...regeneration energy. My contraptions released it's grip on me, and I fell to the ground, only for a pair of strong arms to catch me. I don't remember anything else after that, except for the sound of heavy metal falling to the floor,which I assume were dead Cybermen, and the putrid smell of burned flesh, which I think was mine. 


	9. Chapter 9

**HEY GUYS! Thanks for reviewing, and please keep it up, the climax (well the second one.) is coming up in the story, so keep reviewing and liking for the next chapter to be uploaded! Oh, and this is a short, "fill in" chapter. But the next one explains MUCH more! Thanks! Enjoy! XOXO**

CHAPTER 9

I woke in the medbay. I had a thin sheet laid over my body, and a soft pillow under my head. A glass of water with a bendy straw was beside of me, and a sleeve of jammie dodgers. I moved my hand from my side to my face, and felt my skin was raw. I swallowed and groaned at the searing pain in my throat. For some reason, numbers and shapes were flying through my head at an impossible speed. It didn't bother me though, so much as make me curious. Probably just head trauma. That's when I noticed the Doctor, asleep in a chair beside me. He looked so much younger when he was sleeping. His floppy hair softly blanketing the side of his face, his coat on the chair, and arms crossed over his stomach. I reached for my water, and a bright pink pill beside it. I swallowed it, assuming the Doctor put it there for me to take when I awoke. I heard him stir, and looked over at him and tried my best to smile. His eyes shot open and he rushed to my side, and I moaned when he accidentally touched my arm. "Oh, sorry!" I waved my hand dismissively and croaked "When will my skin heal?" His soft frown deepened and said "Only should be about 12 hours. You've been asleep for 2 days." I almost shot up right then and there. TWO DAYS? Well that explains why I feel rested…I looked over at the Doctor, MY Doctor, and smiled. He softly patted a spot on my hand where it wasn't burned, and said "I'm so sorry." I softened my expression and said "it's okay." I took a sip of my water and continued. "What happened to me?" He sighed and leaned back into his chair again. "Well." He clasped his hands and started. "The cybermen apparently had been inhabiting the planet for a few years, then just decided to wait for me to visit to attack my companion." He looked over at me and gave me a sympathy smile. "They took you to their temporary dome, and tried to convert you into a cyberman. I got there right before the process was complete, and reversed the polarity of the" I rose a single brow at him as in "you know I don't get that stuff." He gave me a sheepish grin and continued. "Well I basically just stopped the process, which is why you glowed for a bit. He frowned for a moment "Then you collapsed, and the energy surrounding the room killed the cybermen by frying their system."  
"Wow."  
"Yeah. Sorry about the attack…I kinda promised no crazy aliens."  
I grinned at this. "Hey, a companion has to have at least one crazy moment." And then I felt drowsy, which must have been the pill, and fell back into oblivion, but before I did, I felt the Doctor kiss my forehead.

I woke in the medbay again, but this time, not in much pain. Just a headache. I looked at my arms, and they were back to their pale hue, instead of bright red. I had no clue how long I had been asleep, I just knew I felt better. I know he was lying earlier about the glowing. It scared me….and I've seen ENOUGH Doctor Who to know what happens when someone reverses polarity energy. You DON'T glow. And he's a rubbish liar. I couldn't find the Doctor, so I got up and walked around. Right then he opened the door and grinned. "Ahh, you're awake! Here, this is the last thing you need. He came around the bed with a bottle of buzzing little yellow lights darting around. I gasped. "Are those…nanogenes?" He smiled. "Indeed they are." "I've always wanted to see them in person, I saw you use them on those gas mask people...they're so cool!" He seemed to phase out for a moment, as if reliving the memory of doing that, before quickly snapping out of it and putting the nanogenes on my head. Within 10 seconds the throbbing had subsided.  
"Wow. That's amazing." I marveled, touching my head lightly.  
"It certainly is."  
We both looked up at each other at the same time. I cleared my throat first and looked away. Then I decided I had to know. Right then and there. I followed him to the console room and sat in the pilot chair.  
"Doctor?"  
He turned towards me slightly, "Yes?"  
"I've watched the show long enough to know that reversing polarity energy doesn't make you glow." He had a look of shock for a moment before sighing and motioning me to sit down beside him on the pilot chair.  
"Leah…" He looked at me with a grim face. "I ran some tests for the past few days when you were resting. You're right, reversing polarity energy doesn't make humans glow."  
I raise my eyebrow as an indication to continue.  
"But…" He paused. "It does make timelords glow. With…regeneration energy."

**I'm so evil, I know. :3 please review to have the next chapter uploaded! 3 y'all!**


	10. Chapter 10

**HEY GUYS! Thank you SOOO much for 3 new reviews:3 I was so happy when I saw that! I was thinking about collided this chapter with the next, but it would've been too long. So this is, yet again, a wee bit short. I'M SORRY. But things are explained and whatnot. O hope you like it! Review for the next chapter! Enjoy! XOXO**

Oh and I don't own Doctor Who and shtuff.

Chapter 10

I froze in the seat. Is he trying to tell me…?  
"Doctor…." I started hesitantly. "Am I a…"  
"Yes." He looks over at me and touches my shoulder gently. "You're a time lord, or lady."  
The room starts spinning, and my chest tightens. How? How am I a time lord/lady? I've always lived ON EARTH. With my FULL BLOOD HUMAN PARENTS. The Doctor must see my panic because he takes hold of me and strokes my hair, shushing me. I'm shaking at this point, and all I can manage to squeak out is  
"How?"  
He pulls me back and brushes back a stray hair from my face.  
"Well...I'm not sure. The best theory I can come up with is that you once lived on Gallifrey, and never got hurt or destroyed in the Time War. Somehow you managed to escape, go to earth, and possibly had this rare timelord disease called "Regeneration Amnesia." It's where you could've regenerated into a newborn, but when the brain cells regenerated, it erased all previous memories and the side effect is that it burns away one of your hearts…so you would've forgotten all about your past regeneration lives, and be able to live with just ONE heart. And when I used my sonic on you as the same time as the cybermen's energy, it must've turned on your "timelordiness" that's been hidden away somewhere in that head of yours for so many years."  
I slowly start to nod my head….This explains the numbers and shapes in my head when I first woke up. Am I some genius now? I realize I'm still in shock, but at least there's answers. He leans forward and puts his elbows on his knees.  
"Leah, where were you born?"  
I frown.  
"I was adopted from a foster home. I never knew who my real parents were. They just said I was left near an alleyway, and got rescued." My brain started to put the pieces together. "  
Oh my gosh.  
"I regenerated in the alleyway into a newborn…." He gives me a look of sympathy, knowing he can't help right now.  
I run my hands through my curly hair, and start taking deep breaths. I can't believe this. Well I can, it makes sense. But at the same time it makes NO sense! I turn towards the Doctor.  
"What do I do?"  
He rubs his chin.  
"Well, you could stay with me, or you could… go home. When I reversed the energy, you lost the ability to ever regenerate again because the cyberman transformation was deteriorating you already, so you still are a time lord/lady, but you'll grow old like a human."  
I grip the railings, processing what I just heard. "I'm gonna head to my room for a bit." I stand shakily and he grabs my waist, helping me. The touch just sends shivers down my spine, and electricity fills my body. Not the best time to use that analogy, but it works. He guides me to my room, and before I go in, I turn to hip and grip his hands, and look into his beautiful, ancient green eyes.  
"Doctor?"  
"Yes Leah?"  
I look down and bite my lip. "No matter what I choose, know I'll love you. Always." A lone tear escapes my eye, and he wipes it away with his thumb.  
"I know."  
He gives me a sad smile and walks back to the console room, and I go into my room, flopping myself on my bed. What in this world am I gonna do? I grab a pen from my desk and my ballet notebook. I'm gonna weigh the pros and cons of this. Staying with the Doctor is...crazy. Magical, fun, and just crazy. More chances of death, OR seeing people die. I write that down in the cons. And...well, we all know the other one. If I went home, the cons would be what mental institute I would be sent to, or how long I would be grounded, and its mundane. But I would be in the safety of my home, and I could explain WHAT I am, and I could go back to my friends, and dance.  
I look at the list a few minutes later, and realize both have equal pros and equal cons. I throw the book in frustration and turn over, burying my head in my pillow, wishing that everything could be easy, and I didn't have to choose, and most of all, wishing I wasn't desperately in love with the Doctor.


	11. Chapter 11

**HI GUYS. So since I'm feeling generous (and anxious;) ) I decided to put up this chapter, because 1. It's long. and 2. It ends the story. I KNOWWW. *tear* There IS an epilogue though, so please review for this story, and to get the epilogue, because I love hearing y'alls feedback. Love you! Enjoy! XOXO**

Chapter 11

I froze in the seat. Is he trying to tell me…?  
"Doctor…." I started hesitantly. "Am I a…"  
"Yes." He looks over at me and touches my shoulder gently. "You're a time lord, or lady."  
The room starts spinning, and my chest tightens. How? How am I a time lord/lady? I've always lived ON EARTH. With my FULL BLOOD HUMAN PARENTS. The Doctor must see my panic because he takes hold of me and strokes my hair, shushing me. I'm shaking at this point, and all I can manage to squeak out is  
"How?"  
He pulls me back and brushes back a stray hair from my face.  
"Well...I'm not sure. The best theory I can come up with is that you once lived on Gallifrey, and never got hurt or destroyed in the Time War. Somehow you managed to escape and fall into a parallel world, and you probably had this rare timelord disease called "Rengeration Amnesia." It's where you could've rengerated into a newborn, but when the brain cells regenerated, it erased all previous memories and the side effect is that it burns away one of your hearts…so you would've forgotten all about your past regeneration lives, and be able to live with just ONE heart. And when I used my sonic on you as the same time as the cybermen's energy, it must've turned on your "timelordiness" that's been hidden away somewhere in that head of yours for so many years."  
I slowly start to nod my head….This explains the numbers and shapes in my head when I first woke up. Am I some genius now? I realize I'm still in shock, but at least there's answers. He leans forward and puts his elbows on his knees.  
"Leah, where were you born?"  
I frown.  
"I was adopted from a foster home. I never knew who my real parents were. They just said I was left near an alleyway, and got rescued." My brain started to put the pieces together. "  
Oh my gosh.  
"I regenerated in the alleyway into a newborn…." He gives me a look of sympathy, knowing he can't help right now.  
I run my hands through my curly hair, and start taking deep breaths. I can't believe this. Well I can, it makes sense. But at the same time it makes NO sense! I turn towards the Doctor.  
"What do I do?"  
He rubs his chin.  
"Well, you could stay with me, or you could… go home. When I reversed the energy, you lost the ability to ever regenerate again because the cyberman transformation was deteriorating you already, so you still are a time lord/lady, but you'll grow old like a human."  
I grip the railings, processing what I just heard. "I'm gonna head to my room for a bit." I stand shakily and he grabs my waist, helping me. The touch just sends shivers down my spine, and electricity fills my body. Not the best time to use that analogy, but it works. He guides me to my room, and before I go in, I turn to hip and grip his hands, and look into his beautiful, ancient green eyes.  
"Doctor?"  
"Yes Leah?"  
I look down and bite my lip. "No matter what I choose, know I'll love you. Always." A lone tear escapes my eye, and he wipes it away with his thumb.  
"I know."  
He gives me a sad smile and walks back to the console room, and I go into my room, flopping myself on my bed. What in this world am I gonna do?  
LATER

It's hot.  
Very, very hot.

I open my eyes and fire is surrounding me. I hear screaming, and immediately jump into action. I frantically look around, and everything is red. All I can hear is screaming, and all I can see is fire, and red, and I can barely make out someone calling my name frantically…

"LEAH!"  
I wake with a start, sweat covering my body. I realize I'm crying, and the Doctor is holding me, trying to calm me down. I finally pull away, confused.  
"There was fire…and screaming. Nothing but screams, and the color red was everywhere! The ground, the sky! The people. Doctor…" I look up at his concerned face. "Did I just see the Time War?"  
He ponders this for a minute, before replying. "Probably…I mean your "time lordiness" just kind of woke up, per say, a few days ago, and that was the first time you've slept with no sedation since then." He scratches his head. "So I suppose so. I'm so sorry."  
I give him a half hearted smile. "It's okay." He smiles and jumps up. "How bout some breakfast, eh? That always helps! And maybe, if you're up to it, we could go see the first play Shakespere ever wrote!" I laugh, for what seems to be the first time in a long time, and go and get ready. I straighten my hair a bit, which I haven't done in a while, and realize how long it's gotten. It's almost to my waist now. I sigh and put the straightner down. How long have I been away from home? I shake my head and go out to the console room. He's pulling some levers and looking at a screen.  
"Shakespere?"  
I smile. "Sure."  
We both put our hands on the lever and pull it, and feel that tingly sensation again. And as I hold onto the bar as we fly through time and space, I realize I can't.  
He gets up from the ground and goes and starts checking the monitors and random little buttons and things.  
"Doctor?"  
He's not listening.  
"Doctor..?"  
Still not paying attention.  
"DOCTOR?"  
He jumps. "Sorry, what?" He's still looking at the monitor.  
"I-…I can't."  
"Can't what, Leah?"  
"Do…this! I can't travel with you anymore. I need to go home."  
He stopped whatever he was fiddling with and turned to face me, his face looking like a lost puppy. "Oh." He clears his throat and turns back to the console, typing in the coordinates to get me back. I sit down in the pilot chair and decide to just stop waiting.

"Do you remember Martha Jones?"  
He stopped typing and turned to face me, face unreadable. "Of course I do, why?"  
I took in a deep breath, and said "Because I'm like Martha. I need to…get away, because I'm being looked right through. I love you Doctor, and I know it's not mutual, and I know you do love me though. I haven't cut since you caught me."  
I held out my healed arms for emphasis.  
"You've changed what I thought never could be. You've given me a whole new perspective on life. That there are more things than just a North or an Ocean, or that every species is important. You showed me the most beautiful things I could've asked for. I've eaten strange food, seen gorgeous planets, seen people die" His face immediately turned down.  
"and see people live. I've found out I'm a freakin time lord/lady! And trust me, I don't know what to do with that except live as normally as possible."  
I continued before I lost my strength and nerve. "You are indescribable. I went in the library that day, and passed a book that I knew held your name." He looked shocked. "But. I didn't look. Someone will, someday. But I didn't, because all I'll ever need to know about you is right here. And I have to go home. I don't know how long it's been. I don't know how mad they'll be or how long I'll be grounded. Or which mental hospital I'll be going to." He laughed at that, tears brimming his eyes. "But I know that no matter what happens, my best times of my life were spent in these past few months. I love you, Doctor. Can you take me home now?" He wiped the tears from his eyes, and walked over and held me tight. We stayed like that for a while, I don't know how long. We finally broke apart and he nodded. He pulled a few levers, and I said "Wait." I grabbed the handle with him" "Don't do it alone." He smiled down at me, and kissed my cheek. We both pulled down the handle to take me home.

We landed, and he walked me to the door. Wow. This is where it all started with him. I look at the 2 story tan and brick house, and it feels alien to me. Funny I should use that term. Being with the Doctor just felt RIGHT, but I know I have to come home. I saw a poster of my face on a streetlamp, with the word "MISSING" above it. The Doctor must've seen my concerned face. "It's only been a month." My mouth fell open. "It's been over half a year for me I'm guessing." He gave a small, sad smile. "Yes, I know."

We walked up to my porch, and he hugged me tight. I hugged him back, and he let go and walked down the steps. But before he could go, I said "Doctor?"  
He turned around. "Yes, Leah?" I grinned like a cheshire cat. "Go to Victorian London next." He gave me that "You know something I don't yet. But okay." look. And nodded. "I promise." I waved, and he waved back. The TARDIS wheezed, and all that was left was the wind that carried promise. Hope. That he'd find Clara, and they'd go on their adventure together, like it should be. I smiled and walked into my house.


	12. Epilogue

**Hey guys! This is the epilogue for "Pain". I hope you enjoyed! And if you want the story to live on, feel free to continue it on your account! Just pm me if you decide to take Leah on a trip in the TARDIS. ;) Much love, and review please! Thanks for everything lovelies 3 XOXO**

EPOLOGUE.

Realizing the Doctor was real isn't what I expected. I expected adventure, which is what I got. I expected fun, which is what I got. I expected everything to go as the script, and the Doctor to save people JUST in time.

That isn't what I got.

Traveling with the Doctor isn't like what it is on TV. Especially when you find out you're not human. Yes he's funny, witty, adorable, and bouncy like a little kid. Yes he does eat fish fingers and custard. Yes he does hurt, and he does cry. And he needs someone. He always needs someone. If he doesn't have someone, he floats away on a cloud. He stops helping. He has too much time to think alone. And the Doctor never needs to think alone. But the Doctor isn't so much a TV show for me anymore as it is reality. Ever since he popped up in my bedroom 6 months ago, nothing has been the same, obviously. I've met people, lost people, been places I'd never imagine seeing except on TV. When I got home, I realized I'll never be able to watch the show again in the same light. Because once you actually EXPERIENCE what's on that screen, it doesn't feel right. It doesn't feel genuine. As complex as the show is, it can seem shallow. That the words are just being read, and the tears just being shed. The lives being "lost" aren't gone, and the people that "die" still live. If I ever met Matt Smith, I don't know what I would do. If I would cry on his shoulder like I do with the Doctor. My Doctor. Or look at him as if he was a stranger. He may have the same face. Same hair, body, basically his identical twin. But it's not him. And that's okay. Oh, and I didn't get grounded. My parents actually believed me, because they were looking out the window when the TARDIS disappeared. Great, isn't it? No mental hospital or grounding. And the time lordiness is not interfering with my life. I am telepathic though. Hah, just kidding;) One heart, but I'm whizzing past my classmates in subjects I used to suck in. Huh. Go figure. We tell everyone that I ran away with a friend to travel, and I left my parents a note. We weren't lying, if you think about it. I hate lying. So if anyone ever sees that magical blue box flying in the sky, tell him I said hi. And that I hope to see him again soon.

I know I will. ;)


End file.
